Listen.

Birthday week.

Friends, family, food, fun. 

Food.

Calories.

Bites.

Too much.

Be sick.

Recover.

Stay better.

Ups and downs, spins, whirlwinds of the mind.

Stay up.

Stay late.

Don’t go.

Do more.

Do less.

Hungry? No.

Yes.

Me? Okay.

Words. Sounds. People. 

Heart.

I feel it beat. I hear it beat.

Legs twitch.

Face itch.

Scratch.

Not too much.

Scratch more.

Deeper.

Blade?

No. Why? Yes. But no.

Good.

Body.

Body.

Body.

Body.

Where’s the air?

Can I breathe? 

Am I breathing?

Am I alive?

Is this living?

I’m doing well. Really. Truly.

But it’s 1 am.

I feel heavy.

The thoughts come at this time.

Go to sleep.

Stay up. Do more. Do less.

Up.

Down.

Eyes heavy.

Eyes and body.

Eyes are body.

Make sense?

Of course not.

Breathe.

Stop breathing.

Stop living.

Start living.

Living living.

That’s it.

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One thought on “Listen.

  1. You’re so creative! I love this, and it conveys your mental state and situation
    well. I especially love the “living living” line. I’ll have to use that as a reminder for myself, because I haven’t been living wholeheartedly.

    Like

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